Baby Reflections

8/27/2012

It's been one of those weeks when I've been reminded of life and death at every turn. 

A friend from church had a baby last week, for which I rejoice. Welcome to the world, baby Carter! 

Another friend miscarried her baby at 17 weeks along last week, for which I weep. God, keep baby Hope in Your hands. 

We had plans to get together with another couple a few days ago. They cancelled because she was feeling too emotional, as the date approached when her baby would've been due. The baby was miscarried last January and yet the pain is right there, so real, as the due date approaches. God, hold baby Lucinda close and heal her mother's heart.

I agreed to take part in a Children's Resale next month - it's basically a big garage sale with the focus on children's items. I decided that I am getting rid of most of my baby stuff. Despite the fact that I've lost 2 babies to miscarriage in the last 14 months, my oldest earthly child is almost 5 years old. How long do I hold onto the baby stuff? How long is reasonable? How long is too long? 

I guess I'm at a phase of just wanting to purge things we're not using. So I'm passing on the changing table and baby toys and most of the maternity clothes. As you can imagine, there is a lot of emotion tied to sorting through baby things. Emotions. Memories. And questions.
Two of my babies used these items. 
Two others weren't given the chance to. 
Will there be other babies? 
Am I a fool to let these items go? 
Or is there wisdom in accepting the reality of what is and trusting that God will provide "the baby stuff" we need if the time comes to need them again?

Life. Death. 
Babies are born. Others are miscarried. 
Life and death are all around. 

Life and breath come from God's hand. I have to cling to that and trust that He is still good, that He is in control. There is no other explanation for the fact that some are given life and breath while others are denied them.

Ecclesiastes 3 comes to mind.
"For everything these is a season, 
A time for everything under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest...
A time to cry and a time to laugh,
A time to grieve and a time to dance. 

God has made everything beautiful for its own time. 
He has planted eternity in the human heart." 

Life. Death. Both in God's hands. 
Though I don't always understand His purposes or His timing, He is trustworthy to make ALL things beautiful in time. Bring beauty from the ashes, Lord!

1 comments:

Emma Major said...

I know the thoughts so well; it's so hard to move on and look back and not linger. I would really appreciate it if you'd share your story through the comments on my story and lessons on how churches can support families whose babies die before birth. I'm hoping these realities can bring more understanding and help. God Bless Emma at http://llmcalling.blogspot.com

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