5/13/2011

As I mentioned in Log #10, a foster parent’s life can change in an instant. That was the case on Monday when we got “the call” that ended in two young boys becoming our first foster siblings.

And then a phone call changed things again on Wednesday evening.

There had been a court hearing on Wednesday afternoon. The judge decided to grant custody of all 4 children (the 2 boys staying with us and the 2 sisters who were with another foster family) to a grandparent. We were informed of this later on Wednesday. The children would be picked up at 11:00 am on Thursday morning.

We spent Thursday morning preparing the boys for this move (as much as possible for a 4-year-old and 1-year-old). We packed up their clothes and included a few extras for them – books they enjoyed while with us, some pictures they’d colored, etc. And at 11:00 we waved good-bye to them as they were off.

Their visit was very short. The judge’s decision even surprised the caseworker, who anticipated the kids being in foster care for a minimum of 2 weeks. However, the judge did what he felt was in the best interest of the children, based on their current situation and that of their parents and grandparents. Our role and the caseworker’s role is to help carry out the judge’s orders.

I certainly hope that the boys are going to a safe, healthy environment with their grandparent. Being with family is the ideal situation.

My daughter was sad to see them go. She asked many questions about why they had to leave and why they had been in foster care at all. But once I explained to her how much more comfortable they will be with a grandparent versus complete strangers (us), she could understand.

But if our "Chase" and "Davey" ever end up in foster care again, we wouldn’t have to think twice about taking them in.

Monday evening through Thursday morning. A very short time.

But we are foster parents. We are listed as both traditional and emergency foster parents. That means that we will take in kids who need long-term care, short-term care or anything in between. It means that we say yes to those who need a place to stay tonight but might be somewhere else tomorrow night as well as those who may be with us for days, weeks or even months.

Foster care is a crazy system. It’s hard to anticipate what might happen with foster kids from day to day, from a judicial case perspective. Judge’s can give grace to parents who have failed many times but still want to fight for their kids or they can terminate parental rights when they think that is in the best interest of the children. Parents may initially try to fight, but later give up or appear to not want to fight for their kids only to decide at the last minute that they want to do what is necessary to win them back. Or an extended family member steps in and is willing to be a guardian for the children. Cases seem to move to one side – maybe towards adoption – only for the tide to then turn back to parental rights and visits and reunification. They are dynamic, not static. You cannot anticipate the direction a case might move. The information available changes. The people involved change. The kids change. The judge’s perspective may change. So many variables that affect the outcome. Yet, the end goal is the same – to provide a healthy, safe, stable environment for children.

So we do our part to be a safe place for kids when they need us.

And we wait for the next call that will change everything once again.

PS: I want to say "thank you" to all of those who support us in what we're doing - we have many people praying for us and offering help in many ways. So if you, dear reader, are one of those behind-the-scenes helpers, thank you!

5/11/2011

When you're a foster parent, life can change in an instant. On Monday, we were saying good-bye to my mom who was visiting for the weekend. We were cleaning the house, catching up on laundry, doing the usual things. At 3:00 we got "the call" asking if we would consider a sibling group of 4 children - ages 10, 3, 2, and 1.

We knew from our previous experience that we should stay with children younger than our daughter, who is 7. We said we couldn't take the 10-year-old but would consider the other 3. After she made a few other calls, the caseworker recommended that we take the two boys - the 3 and 1 year olds. Another foster family could take the two girls.

We made a quick stop at Target to buy the right size car seat for the 3-year-old. Months ago I had purchased an infant car seat that we took with us to use for the 1-year-old.

At 5:00, we met "the boys" for the first time. We'll call the 3-year-old Chase and the 1-year-old Davey on this blog (as a ward of the state, the identity of each foster child is confidential and needs to remain private so no usage of real names and no posting of pictures are allowed).

Details on their situation are very sketchy and neither of the boys are old enough to really explain much to us. We don't know at this point if they'll be with us for just a few weeks or if it will last months, but there is that possibility. Court will be held later today, so we'll know more about how things need to proceed after that.

Turns out that Chase isn't 3 after all - he turned 4 a few weeks ago. He and my 3-year-old son, well, they aren't getting along that well yet. As you would expect with any young children, they are fighting over toys and not wanting to share and occasionally hitting or kicking. They are boys... and like to chase each other all around the house!

Little Davey is toddling around, following the other kids wherever they go. And he is quite the eater - he is consistently eating more than my 3-year-old son does. We're getting back into the swing of having a little guy who takes morning and afternoon naps. So far, so good on the sleeping patterns!

More to come as their situation unfolds and we adjust to life with 4 children (ages 7 and under) in our home. As always, your prayers on our behalf are appreciated and needed. May Jesus Christ be glorified in us and through us, as we act as His hands and His feet to bring a glimpse of the Kingdom of God to earth.

5/5/2011

They say that laughter is good medicine. Here are a few "funnies" from recent days with my kiddos. Laugh away!

• While visiting my husband's parents, we paid a visit to the room of Great Grandma Hart. She is my husband's grandma who is now bedridden and lives with my husband's parents. Both my kids went in with me to say hello to Grandma Hart. I picked up her hand and stroked it gently while I talked to her. My son saw me doing this and tried to give her hand a few pats but missed her hand and patted her belly instead. Grandma's eyes opened wide and she said "Oh! I'm being burped!"
  
• My son now refers to my mom as "Tractor Grandma," after spending some time with her last month. She lives in Wisconsin and has lots of tractors to play with. So now we talk to Tractor Grandma on the phone, receive packages from Tractor Grandma and pray for Tractor Grandma.
• For many months now my son has referred to his belly button as his tummy button. This is what is hungry or full of food, as well as what hurts when has a tummy ache. Just so you know, this is also where babies come from - the mama's tummy button.
  
• Pointing to a picture of people cleaning, my son says "This man is dustpanning and this one is brooming."
  
• After feeling daddy's chin, my son said it was rough. Then he felt my chin and said it was like rubber. Thanks, son!
  
• While driving on the interstate, my son said to me "Mom, see that truck up there! Race it!"
• My boy knows that horns are what make noise on a car or a truck. Seeing a picture of a dinosaur, he pointed to its head and said "What that?" I told him those were horns. He covered his hears, assuming they would be making a loud blast at any moment!
  
• At Christmastime, we sang Silent Night. My daughter joined in with "round yon surgeon mother and child." Betcha didn't know Mary was a surgeon, did ya?
  
• My daughter was carrying a kids chair through the room, saying "Get the over-sized load sign out! I've got a big chair coming through!"
  
• "After moms have babies, their tummies get spongy"
  
• Talking about "idle hands," my daughter told me that her hands get a punishment whenever they are idle for too long. They get all tingly, like they are being pricked to get back to work!
• Seeing a picture of a mostly white cow with a red dot on its forehead, my daughter informed us that it must be a Hindu cow.
• My daughter regularly declares that after giving a big "mu-wah" kiss to her Aunt Karen (who has false teeth) that she sees a little sticker inside Aunt Karen's mouth that says "Made in China"

5/4/2011

We are just days from finishing up 2nd grade homeschool with my daughter. Once we officially finish all 180 school days, we will celebrate at her choice of restaurant (usually Chuck E Cheese). That should happen in about 2 weeks.

I wanted to post a review of how the year went and what materials we used.

It's been a rough year. My daughter has disliked school more this year than ever before. I hate that and will be making some major changes in our homeschool approach for next year. Turning her off to school, learning and education is definitely NOT our goal! Her attitude has been poor, presenting more of a challenge to me as her mother and teacher.


On the up side, she has been a total bookworm this year, reading up to 250 pages per day in whatever book series she is into (currently it is the Boxcar Children series). We have also read a lot of books outloud together (click here to see my posts about homeschooling, including my Children's Reading List posts about books we've read together this year).
For formal curriculum, we used Alpha Omega Lifepac for 2nd grade. Included were 10 workbooks for each subject: Science, Math, History/Geography, Language Arts and Bible. We found the Lifepacs to be rather simplistic, seeming too easy for a 2nd grade level. We breezed through all but the Math books in half the school year! I was committed to trying them for one year - because I had received the entire set of books for free and because it's difficult to transition to a new curriculum in the middle of the school year... but it was frustrating, as we were rather disappointed with them overall.

The Lifepac for Math has lasted the entire school year, as Math is where my daughter struggles the most. We have supplemented other materials for the other subjects in order to last through the 180 day school year. We used some materials from Christian Liberty Press for History and Spelling.



Partially because of my daughter's poor attitude and partially because of my personal conviction that something was missing, I added "Bible Study with Mom" to our day. At the end of the day, we sit together and work through a Bible Study program that focuses on Christian character development. We are using Polished Cornerstones, by Doorposts currently, focusing on a different aspect of a Christian woman's character each week. This is going ok. I enjoy it. My daughter enjoys it sometimes and other times is very distracted and wants to rush through it.

Off and on, we've used other materials for a short time. For example, I had a Spanish book that we worked through. It lasted only 10 weeks or so. We've also worked through supplemental books on Critical Thinking and Handwriting. For more than a year, my daughter has taken part in Child Evangelism Fellowship's Mailbox Club - receiving lessons in the mail, completing a work page and mailing it back in order to receive the next lesson. This year, I had her begin working on computer keyboarding skills also, using this fun teaching-typing site from the BBC.

It's hard to believe we're at the end of 2nd grade and that my "little girl" will be turning 8 this summer! This has been my 3rd year as a homeschool teacher! As with most everything, there are ups and downs, seasons of joy and triumph as well as seasons of difficulty and despair. Homeschooling is not easy, that is for certain. Yet, my conviction to homeschool remains strong.

I will post later on what our plans are for 3rd grade, as we're trying something new to see if we can reignite that love-to-learn spark in my daughter, as well as do more "school" that can incorporate my 3 1/2 year old son!

If you are so inclined, join us in praying for our homeschool:

• For God's clear direction and vision for how to proceed
  
• For my daughter's overall attitude towards school and learning
  
• For my son as he begins learning basic concepts (ABCs and 123s)
• For my strength and energy to meet each day's tasks; for a long-term perspective; for the life that I model for my children to be Christ-like
• For our homeschool years to be sweet and pleasant for our family
  

5/3/2011

From January through April, I taught Young Adult Sunday School at our church. I chose to teach through a book called: Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate by Jerry Bridges.

I read the book and created a one-page handout for the class, which we read through together each week. This way, neither the church nor the individuals had to purchase the book yet we all still benefited from the material.

The book goes through many "acceptable" sins that American Christians tend to be blinded to, especially in ourselves and in the church setting. We were not able to get through all of the book, but we did spend a week on each of these topics: ungodliness, anxiety and frustration, un-thankfulness, selfishness and pride, impatience and irritability, and sins of the tongue.

For each topic, we would read through related scriptures and try to get to a level of openness, sharing personal struggles in these areas, discussing ways we see this sin in ourselves, our church and our culture. The chapter on ungodliness was very eye-opening, as the author defined ungodliness differently than the way I always thought of it, thus exposing ungodliness in my life that I had never seen before!

I pointed out each week of this class that although the book focused on sin and was trying to help point out those hidden sins that we tend to tolerate, the author tried very hard at the beginning of the book to lay a groundwork for the Gospel of Jesus Christ truly being Good News. He was not trying to make us feel guilty or bad by pointing out sin issues. He was trying to remind us that God desires holiness and He also empowers us through His Holy Spirit to live victorious lives, conquering the sin that so easily entangles us. That is GOOD NEWS! We aren't just stuck in these sins for the rest of our lives. Change can happen. And it isn't just us working hard at it. The Holy Spirit is an active part of the process. How thankful I am that He is! :-)

So this is a book that I would recommend and it worked well in a classroom setting, though I also enjoyed it for personal reading. I was challenged and I am changed because of this book!

5/2/2011

All of the pictured items were completely free this week at WalMart - using coupons to pay for them!

*1 Nivea Body Wash for Men
*3 Nivea Body Wash for Women
*1 travel-size Degree Deodorant for Men
*1 Glade scented oil candle 4-pack

Free items are wonderful to use in your own household, to donate to the church food pantry or to a homeless shelter, or to put together in a gift basket for a special occasion. You simply cannot beat FREE!

5/2/2011

Now that April is over, I wanted to post an update on the month's progress towards my 2011 goals. This blog is an accountability partner, in a way. And knowing that I have to post an update helps keep me on track! Thank you, readers, for helping me stick to it and get a few steps closer to my goals!

Spiritual goal: read through the Bible in one year. I am a few days behind in my reading, but generally I've been keeping up with it. As always, I'm amazed at God's timing. Even when I'm reading something "scheduled" for a particular day, it often lines up so well with something else going on in my life or is just what I needed to read to encourage me in some situation. I'm currently reading in the Old Testament book of Judges, the New Testament book of Luke, and one Psalm and a couple of Proverbs each day. My daughter continues to read through her Bible-in-One-Year also, which is very motivating to me - I want to keep up with her!

Physical Goal: become more physically fit. I had a good month of exercise in April. I was on the treadmill 15 out of 30 days, fast-walking for 30 minutes. I was also more active in general, carrying a lot of boxes up and down stairs and going for a few bike rides with my kids. I know that I've lost at least 10 pounds so far this year. I rarely step on a scale, but occasionally do check. Sometime this summer I will have an official check at the doctor's office, during which time they will also check my cholesterol (this is what I am most concerned about).

Growth goal: exercise self-control, especially in the area of anger management. I can't say I've seen a lot of progress here. There have been some ups, but it seems there are just as many downs! Some days my husband says I am a model of patience and self-control, yet I always think to myself "Well, you didn't see me early today when I failed so miserably!" Maybe I expect too much of myself. Or maybe I'm just being honest about an area I struggle with and in which I want to see more victories. I know that it's more about what is in my heart than just my outward actions, so I continue to pray for a heart change and for the Holy Spirit fruit to grow in my life. That is a prayer you can join me in!

Hoping that I can give a wonderful progress report at the end of May!

Here is a link to my March update.

Here is my February update post.

Here is my initial post about 2011 goals and resolutions.

4/27/2011

Contentment is a pearl of great price, and whoever procures it at the expense of ten thousand desires makes a wise and happy purchase. -John Balguy

Being content. What a struggle for all of us! To be content truly does cost ten thousand desires... to give them up, let them go, set expectations aside. To simply be content with what is, what we have, who we are.

Working on this one today!

"Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful" - John Maeda

4/26/2011

Simplicity.

Like everyone else, I struggle to keep life simple. It takes intentionality to say no to busyness and yes to simplicity. Otherwise, the chaos tends to rule the day and keep us running from one thing to another and another and life is anything but simple.

This Easter season, like every one before it, came with lots of expectations. I tend to expect a lot out of myself, my children and life in general around holidays. Somehow I slip into thinking that there are 48 hours in each day and I will have plenty of time to... make that Easter wreath I found in a magazine, do those special Easter crafts I wanted to do with my kids each day of holy week, enjoy special prayer time and read a special devotional book to supplement my Bible reading during the weeks leading up to Easter.

Then reality hits. We're sick. Our van breaks down. We're behind in homeschooling. I've over-committed to things at church.

But as I've gone through this cycle over the years, I now can see the lesson behind it. And instead of going on a guilt trip, feeling like a lousy mom or wife because I can't fit all of the extras in, I have found a way to escape it.

Simplicity.

Instead of adding something else to an already crowded day, I ask myself if I can find a way to do something we're already doing just a little bit differently, thus making it "special."

This year, we did very little to prepare for Easter. However, starting on Palm Sunday, we picked up the Bible and read about Jesus' last week on earth and discussed the events together. We did this around the table while we ate or on Sunday morning, I read it in the van while my husband drove us to church. It didn't take major amounts of time or advance planning. It only required me to find a Bible, turn to the end of the gospels and start reading aloud.

It was simple.

But it was also profound. We all enjoyed it. My daughter had some questions. At the end of it all, I too felt like I hadn't let the season pass without some extra reflection on the life and sacrifice of Christ.


One other thing we did was also very simple. My daughter and I made unleavened bread to enjoy on Thursday, as we discussed Jesus' last supper with his disciples.

This lesson of simplicity comes back to me many times a year, but especially at Christmas and Easter. My hopes soar. I would love to spend hours on grand projects centered around the holiday themes. Yet, my days are consistently too short to accomplish much more than the day-to-day. But to find one or maybe two small ways (yes, small - keep it small) to change our day-to-day routines into something special that my kids will remember and something that makes the time meaningful for me as well - this is the key for me. Always coming back to simplicity.

4/25/2011

We regularly set aside some funds for our kids' college education. One such administrator of a 529 Savings Plan that we have used College Advantage.

They currently offer a $25 bonus when you open a new account, with as little as a $25 initial investment. The offer is good through April 30th. Just click on the icon on the upper right of the homepage.

Every little bit helps!