Foster Parenting - Log #18


Disclaimer: due to state regulations concerning foster children, I am not allowed to post pictures of any foster child's face. Therefore these pictures are all I can show you of Jason and Amy.

Loving children can be difficult. I admit that it's been a challenge to love the two current foster children in our home. Those who are most difficult to love are the very ones who need to be loved the most. Jason and Amy fit that description!

They so much need to be loved and it is obvious that they have not been loved as children should be. They have not been cherished. They have not be nourished. They have not been taught. They have not been listened to. They have not been trained in any way as to how best to live life and interact with others.

And because of these things that are lacking for Jason and Amy, these ch
ildren are offensive. They scream. They are rude. They don't share. They throw things. They hit. They cuss and swear. They don't respond to "no" or "stop." They throw tantrums. They are just children who have had nobody love them, nobody invest time or energy into their lives to show them how to live, how to act.

They are in our home now. We are doing the best we can do to love them and invest in them. Yet sometimes I wonder what difference we can make in the little bit of time we have with them. Will they interpret our actions as love or as mean-ness? The discipline and training seems mean to them, I suspect. It seems cruel to make them clean up toys or say "I'm sorry" when they hurt someone else. Life was probably easier for them in their home of origin where they could do what they wanted and get away with anything. Our home probably seems too harsh. Not that they could put that into words, but it may be some of what they are dealing with.

We are also left wondering if we can invest the time and energy it will take to truly help these two. We can love them, yes. We can give them a safe home and provide for their basic needs. Yes, we can and we are. But can we invest the time it will take to re-train Jason, to go from hitting/kicking/throwing/biting to self-control? Can we invest the energy it will take to work with Amy over and over again until she can grasp a new concept, such as keeping food in the dining room instead of wandering around the house with it?

I'm not so sure at this point. I'm thinking they need more than we can give them. Because they need more than just love. They need extra time and individual attention that is in short supply in our home, with 4 children.

We'll see where it goes from here...


Bella said...

I am praying for you all! Orphan care is not easy, but (as hard as it can be in times like this) remember that God will equip those He calls. Praying for wisdom and strength for you and your husband, and that these precious children will know that they are safe and loved.

Post a Comment