7/5/2011

Death has a way of reminding us all of what is really important.

It's not jobs. It's not money, houses or possessions. "The most important things in life aren't things." People are what matters. Souls are all that will last for eternity.

I can trust the loving heart of God with my precious miscarried son. Only because I know Jesus and know His love for children and His mercy for the underdog, the orphan, the foreigner, and the alien can I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my child is safe in His tender care.

Some have commented: "It's great that you are still trusting God after such a tragedy." As a Christian, God is all I have. God is my only hope of ever seeing this child again. Yes, I will trust. Yes, I will continue to proclaim the love of the Lord God for me and for my family and for my children.

I've tried to consider this tragedy from God's perspective and in doing so I have seen it as mercy.

For my unborn son to be suddenly taken in to the presence of Jesus, to live in heaven forever is mercy. He will know none of the sin and pain of this life. He will be spared heartache and sorrow. He will have no physical limitations. For him to avoid this life and all its troubles is the mercy of God. Yes, painful for me. But I'm the mom and all moms go through pain and hard things on behalf of their kids.

It is a very strange and new thought to me that I "know" someone in heaven that I didn't really know on earth. I look forward to seeing many people in heaven that I knew in this life. People that I had experiences with here on earth. I have memories of time spent with them. They have now passed on to glory and I will see them again there. But in the case of my miscarried son, I have had no real experiences with him on earth. The only experiences I will have with him will be on the other side, in heaven. That is strange and is unique to the relationship of parents to unborn children.

Yet just knowing that my child is there makes my longing for heaven so very intense and so much greater than before. Heaven seems more real to me. While I always knew loved ones were there, now a piece of my very heart is there. I feel a bit like I've got one foot on earth and one in heaven. How I love my children here but how I also love my child who is there waiting!

Tomorrow I will share about a book I read a few weeks back that God has used to bring me peace through this experience of miscarriage.