7/12/2011

I know that it's halfway through July, but I wanted to say something about the month of June. Honestly, it was a blur.

We found out early in June that we were expecting and by the end of the month we had miscarried. It was a month of excitement at the pregnancy news, keeping the baby a secret, and not having much energy. Then at the end there were major emotional upsets and hormonal changes.

Physical Goal for 2011: be more physically fit. I can't say I made any real progress in this area, as my focus was on getting enough rest and taking general care of myself. I didn't have the energy or motivation to get on the treadmill at all in June. I did other physical activity a couple of times, but overall lacked energy due to the pregnancy.

Spiritual Goal for 2011: read through the Bible in a year and be more consistent in time with the Lord. I often find that I have a few good days and then skip a day or two. But I have always been able to catch back up and stay on track, as far as the Bible reading goes. Knowing that I am now more than halfway through motivates me to keep on going. I will say that my relationship with God has changed a lot in the last few weeks, as I've struggled through grief and "why" questions as it relates to my miscarriage. But He is with me. He is a faithful Friend. He remains the One I love and adore and trust with all that I am. So, I guess that I can say He is using the miscarriage to turn my heart even more towards Him and all things eternal.

Personal Growth Goal for 2011: exercise more self-control, especially as it relates to anger. June had its ups and downs in this area. I was more tired than usual, so I was more irritable and had a shorter fuse. I confess to blowing up a few times. I also had some triumphs, though, and recall a few specific instances of showing greater patience and "holding my tongue." This continues to be an area that I need to mature in, with the Holy Spirit growing this fruit in me.

2011 is half over. 2012 is just around the corner. I have appreciated the accountability this blog has given me. Knowing that I will report my progress towards my 2011 goals each month challenges me to keep at 'em. Progress is made day by day by day. Little by little, baby step by baby step great things are achieved!