6/22/2011

My husband. The student.

My husband has been a student for more than half of our married life. When we married, we were both full time students - undergrad for me and graduate work for my hubby. Then we graduated and moved on with life and work and family. Then he started working for a library where the expectation is that he will work towards his Master's of Library Science, a second graduate degree for him.

11 years ago we were newlyweds, had nothing, had no children, lived in a small apartment and worked our buns off doing full-time school and part-time work. Yet life was good and exciting and fun. We found a balance that worked.

Fast-forward to today. We have kids. We have "stuff" to maintain (like a house, a yard, gutters to clean, etc). We have work - full-time for him and at-home for me (don't get me started on whether a stay-at-home mom actually "works"). To throw school into this mix is extremely difficult, at least for us. Life isn't so good, exciting or fun...

I honestly don't know how other people do it. To juggle family, work and school. To find any time to relax or even get adequate sleep. To find time to do anything else. We struggle to maintain even an acceptable off-balance sort of balance when my husband has school added to his plate.

The solution for us:
1) My husband takes 6-week summer classes only. We have found that we can handle 6 weeks of intensity, of knowing that he won't be around much, of knowing that there is a light at the end of the short tunnel. It means it'll take longer to complete the degree. But a degree isn't worth our marriage or family falling apart.
2) We put off all "extras" during that intense 6 week time. No vacations. No extra commitments that can be avoided. No home projects - even those that come up during that 6 weeks are put off unless they are emergency repairs.
3) I try to become my husband's cheer-leader, encouraging him to give it his best, letting him know that I believe in him and support him all the way. And then at home, I do my best to hold-it-together while he is around less, spending less time with me and with the kids. During these times, I admire my single parent friends, as I get just a small taste of what they experience day in and day out.

Thankfully, my husband's 6-week class ends today. Yahoo! I'm ready to have my husband back... and ready to work with him to tackle the ever-growing "honey do" list that has been on the back-burner since early May!