Repeat Miscarriage: Medical Evaluation

Posted by My Heart Song



1/9/2013

When I last miscarried for the 3rd time in October, a subtle shift took place. "High risk" will now be used to describe any future pregnancies. 

 To endure 1 miscarriage is unfortunate, but doctors do not usually do any medical follow-up. "Just a fluke. Is not likely to happen again. Move on."

To suffer 2 miscarriages is difficult, but doctors again do not usually do any medical follow-up. "Hmmm. Odd. Two times. Well, just a string of bad luck. Try again."

But to miscarry 3 or more times is heart-wrenching and usually gets the doctor's attention. 3 or more miscarriages are now termed "repeat miscarriages" or "repeat pregnancy loss." At this point, an OB/GYN will refer you to a specialist who can try to figure out the reason behind the miscarriages. At this point, they figure that it's not just bad luck but rather there is a physical reason that the body is struggling to stay pregnant once conception has occurred. 

In December I met with a specialist. They ordered a lot of blood tests but didn't give any false hope. The chance of discovering what is wrong is slim. My case is unique in that I do already have 2 healthy children who had normal, healthy pregnancies. We know that there is not a genetic reason for my miscarrages - my two children are proof that my husband and I can produce genetically healthy children. But there are some diseases and disorders that they wanted to test for, just in case. 

All of my bloodwork came back normal. 

No need for a follow-up consultation with the specialist. There is nothing more they can do. 

I'm not surprised. I believed them when they said it was a very slim chance of discovering something at this stage. 

It's just like our infertility struggles. No cause. Strange. Can't be explained.

And so we trust God is in control. We know that sin is at work in our bodies, as well as in all of creation. Our bodies don't work perfectly, as they were originally intended to.

Yet God knows all this and can use all of this to sanctify us, making us more like His Son, Jesus Christ, as we suffer through this life. And He can use even these circumstances for His ultimate glory. 

I don't know what the future holds. 
I don't know if we will conceive again. 
I don't know if I will be able to carry a baby to term again. 

Yet I can be glad for what I have. 
I can thank God for the children I have here on earth.
I can thank God for thd children I have waiting for me in heaven. 

Habakkuk 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.    

0 comments

Recent Reads

Posted by My Heart Song

1/8/2013

I've been in a reading mood lately, devouring a few books per week. Here are a few that have been on my bookshelf recently.


The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom - I enjoyed this book immensely. I had never read it before but obtained a free audio version, so I didn't actually read it but listened to it. Well done. Very informative. Inspirational. Helps lead us down the path that led to the Holocaust - from Nazi occupation all the way to concentration camps. An incredible story of hope despite absolutely horrific circumstances.


Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell - written by a Navy Seal (no surprise that he swears like a sailor), it was eye-opening to read about all of the training one goes through to become a Navy Seal. Then Luttrell goes on to share his incredible personal story, with a tribute to his teammates who gave their last full measure of devotion for our freedoms. 


Service by Marcus Luttrell - I read as a follow-up to the previous book. It gives a little more detail to Luttrell's survival tale, but also is a tribute to many other service men and women (and wives left behind). Another great reminder of what our military endure on a regular basis, for our sakes. 


Killing Kennedy by Bill O'Reilly - I read O'Reilly's Killing Lincoln a few months ago. I liked the Kennedy book more. Insightful. Gives a glimpse into the life of a President and a Vice President, as well as the life of Lee Harvey Oswald.


To Kill a Mockingbird - I'm in the middle of this one currently. I am reading it now because I am helping teach a Jr/Sr High class on this book at our homeschool co-op this spring. I need a refresher! I know I've read the book before, probably in high school, though I recall that I didn't fully understand it. Now I've got to help teach it! :-) Time to study up!


Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte - This is one of those classic books that I'd never read before. So I picked it up and read it through simply to be able to say I'd read it. I didn't really like it. Very odd book. And taking place over 3 generations, I had to keep a running note as a bookmarker to remember who is who, who marries who, who dies, etc.

There were two quotes from Wuthering Heights, though, that I liked. Both are related to death and heaven. 

"The thing that irks me most is this shattered prison. I'm tired, tired of being enclosed here. I'm wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart, but really with it and in it. You, Nelly, think you are better and more fortunate than I, in full health and strength; you are sorry for me - very soon that will be altered. I shall be sorry for you. I shall be incomparably beyond and above you all."

And one other:

" I see, in death, a repose that neither earth nor hell can break, and I feel an assurance of the endless and shadowless hereafter - the eternity they have entered - where life is boundless in its duration, and love in its sympathy, and joy in its fulness. I noticed on that occasion how much selfishness there is even in a love like Mr. Linton's (the husband left behind), when he so regretted her blessed release." 

Interesting perspective - that even in love, we are selfish when we regret the death of our loved ones. They are better off, where life and love and joy are complete and endless. 

Have you read any good books lately? 
 

1 comments

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Posted by My Heart Song


1/7/2013

I always spend time reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the new, as I replace one calendar with another.

Last year, as I recounted the events of 2011, the word that seemed to summarize that year was LOSS. We lost my Grandma Nellie, who was very dear to me. We lost our first baby through miscarriage, leaving us completely heart-broken. And we laid down the ministry of foster parenting, realizing that it was not to be at this season of life. LOSS is how I remember that year. 

At the start of 2012, though, the word that came to me over and over was FRUIT. I wrote it down and wondered if that word would summarize our year, when it was all said and done. 

Now 2012 is over and indeed FRUIT was a great word for our year. We took on growing a garden and benefited tremendously from the produce that grew so abundantly. We were pregnant twice, ready to welcome new children into our family as the fruit of my womb. We all grew in ways that are keeping with God's fruit in our lives - growing in patience, in persevering through trials, in love for others. FRUIT was a very appropriate word for 2012 and I can't take credit for it - it was given to me before the year began and I believe it was from God. 

For 2013, I can't say that I feel impressed by any particular word. I wonder about the words GROWTH and DISCIPLINE. I sense a need for more discipline in my life. Life passes quickly and I want to live an intentional, purposeful existence. I want to show my discipline in my routines and grow more, mature more. We'll see how things end up at the end of another 12 months. 

Do you have any words that are challenging you this year?

0 comments

Wisconsin Christmas

Posted by My Heart Song

1/2/2013
 
 We spent last weekend in Wisconsin with my family, still celebrating Christmas. Lots of fun and laughter, as well as good times connecting a bit more with extended family that we rarely see. 


Me and mom wearing some lovely Christmas headbands.

 Last year was the year of the ugly sweaters. This year each family was to come up with a "family theme." This added dimension makes Christmas so much more fun!


Brian's family went with the '90s theme and Brian played the part of a very effeminate man.


Brett's family theme - ugly sweaters again!

My mom's family theme - bring on the sparkle!
 

Our family theme - doctors/nurses - so we all wore scrubs.
 
  
My brother Todd's family theme - 1970s. Last year Todd received a gag gift of an old Eddie Rabbitt album. He took this poster from that album and came as Eddie Rabbitt this year. So hilarious. He spent months planning this and creating the look. So spot-on.   
  

Here are the 4 of us "kids" with my mom. Lovely, I know!

 

And just the 4 of us - me with my 3 brothers. 


This is a great picture.
My son and his cousin Trinity are both 5. 
My daughter and her cousin Christa are both 9. The cousins had so much fun playing together. 


Even my son (wearing his scrubs) liked wearing the mistletoe headband. 


Thumbs up for a gift from Grandma. 


My girl waiting to open her gift. The kids open gifts first, then the adults settle in for 1-by-1 opening, so we can all see what each one opens. Gifts are a fun part of the family Christmas event, as almost half of them are gag gifts that keep us all in stitches.

We introduced my mom to the game Settlers of Catan while we were visiting. She enjoyed it and won, but asked if they could keep the game going anyway because it was so fun. 


My dad hosted a Christmas celebration too. Here is a picture of my dad with all of the current grandchildren, ranging from 3-17 years old. 

Our Christmas celebrations have changed so much over the years. I fondly remember getting together at my grandparents' homes - but now they have passed on or aren't able to host the events any longer. I am so glad that some traditions have kept on - such as eating lefse as part of our Norwegian heritage. And it's fun to see new elements added - such as the giving of gag gifts to lighten the mood. As a child, I remember being so focused on the presents. Now I am focused on the presents too - but not on what I'm getting as much as the fun things we're giving. I can't wait to see the looks on the recipient's face when they open a gift we've picked out just for them, to make them laugh!

This year we also changed this up in one other way. My 3 brothers and I always draw names at Thanksgiving. We agree to spend $25 on the other sibling/couple we draw. This year, we agreed to donate that $25 to a charity in their name instead. It was meaningful to open cards and read about the charity that was chosen and the good being done in the world as a result. That $100 didn't get spent in vain, didn't buy an item someone may or may not use or want. That $100 went to worthwhile causes and I hope that is a tradition we can continue each year.

0 comments

Happy New Year

Posted by My Heart Song


 12/31/2012 
 
Happy New Year from our family to yours! 

0 comments

Miscarriage: 18 Months Later

Posted by My Heart Song


12/29/2012

18 months. 548 days. Over 13,000 hours.

That's how long it's been since my heart was first broken.

June 29, 2011

I miscarried my baby, Grant David.

It was many months before the fog would lift and healing would begin. Of course, I couldn't have known then that it was only the beginning of a journey of pain and loss. 

February 23, 2012

I miscarried my baby, Hope. 

Brokenness. Pain. Loss. Death. Depression. 

October 17, 2012

I miscarry for the third time, losing my baby Isaac.  

I have to admit that out of the 13,000 hours, too many have been spent questioning. Too many have been spent depressed. Too many have been spent in self-pity. 

However, I also can see that some of those 13,000 hours were spent in ministry. Ministry of mercy towards others who are walking this path. 13,000 hours ago, I didn't know all that I would have in common with Merry, with Dee, with Moriah, with April, with Kimberly. The ministry I never wanted... but now I can minister to others because of what I've gone through, with Jesus at my side. 

I am a different person now than I was 18 months ago. I know Jesus at a different level than ever before. That is one way that God can use such pain and difficulties for good.


His grace is enough. I have no idea what my future holds. But His grace is sufficient for me. He and I will face it together. I can look back on the last 18 months and see those "footsteps in the sand" where I know He was with me and at times carrying me through it. He is enough.   

0 comments

Our Family Christmas

Posted by My Heart Song


 12/27/2012

Christmas Day. Our family had a very simple, stay-at-home day. The kids played with new toys. I made supper in the crockpot and enjoyed reading a book throughout the day. We looked through old photos and videos of Christmases past (which is always good for some laughs and memories).


My son received a set of Little Critter books by Mercer Mayer - some of his current favorites. 


 My daughter also received some new books, including this one about Secret Codes. 


I gave my husband a new razor.  



My husband gave me a new tablecloth and table pad for our dining room table. He let me open this last weekend, so I could use it when we hosted his extended family for Christmas. The tablecloth is a beautiful burgundy color and fits our table (we didn't have one big enough before).

It was a simple Christmas for us.  
Relatively few gifts. 
Reading the Biblical story of Jesus' birth. 
A few Christmas songs around the piano. 
A quiet day to reflect and enjoy family. 
A simple, beautiful Christmas.     

0 comments

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)