1/9/2013

When I last miscarried for the 3rd time in October, a subtle shift took place. "High risk" will now be used to describe any future pregnancies. 

To endure 1 miscarriage is unfortunate, but doctors do not usually do any medical follow-up. "Just a fluke. Is not likely to happen again. Move on."

To suffer 2 miscarriages is difficult, but doctors again do not usually do any medical follow-up. "Hmmm. Odd. Two times. Well, just a string of bad luck. Try again."

But to miscarry 3 or more times is heart-wrenching and usually gets the doctor's attention. 3 or more miscarriages are now termed "repeat miscarriages" or "repeat pregnancy loss." At this point, an OB/GYN will refer you to a specialist who can try to figure out the reason behind the miscarriages. At this point, they figure that it's not just bad luck but rather there is a physical reason that the body is struggling to stay pregnant once conception has occurred. 

In December I met with a specialist. They ordered a lot of blood tests but didn't give any false hope. The chance of discovering what is wrong is slim. My case is unique in that I do already have 2 healthy children who had normal, healthy pregnancies. We know that there is not a genetic reason for my miscarrages - my two children are proof that my husband and I can produce genetically healthy children. But there are some diseases and disorders that they wanted to test for, just in case. 

All of my bloodwork came back normal. 

No need for a follow-up consultation with the specialist. There is nothing more they can do. 

I'm not surprised. I believed them when they said it was a very slim chance of discovering something at this stage. 

It's just like our infertility struggles. No cause. Strange. Can't be explained.

And so we trust God is in control. We know that sin is at work in our bodies, as well as in all of creation. Our bodies don't work perfectly, as they were originally intended to.

Yet God knows all this and can use all of this to sanctify us, making us more like His Son, Jesus Christ, as we suffer through this life. And He can use even these circumstances for His ultimate glory. 

I don't know what the future holds. 
I don't know if we will conceive again. 
I don't know if I will be able to carry a baby to term again. 

Yet I can be glad for what I have. 
I can thank God for the children I have here on earth.
I can thank God for thd children I have waiting for me in heaven. 

Habakkuk 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.