Another Holiday Tainted by Grief


It's Valentine's Day 2013.

For me, this is another holiday that's tainted with grief. 

Valentine's Day 2012. I had taken a pregnancy test two days before and discovered that I was indeed pregnant. This was super exciting news since we'd suffered our first miscarriage a few months prior.

I waited to tell my husband until Valentine's Day. I made him a special card that was "from all of us" and then listed all of our names, including the newest itty bitty baby in utero. We rejoiced. After the grief of the previous loss, we were hesitant to hope again. But we threw ourselves into the joy of new life. We referred to this baby as "our spark of hope."

Of course, we could not have known that just a few weeks later we would lose this baby to miscarriage. We felt that she was a girl and we named her Hope. 

Valentine's Day will never be the same again, because it is forever tied with baby news in my mind. 

However, it is also tied with love. Forever love. Hopeful love. Love that lasts beyond the grave. Love that is eternal. 

Yes, it is possible to grieve and at the same time celebrate THAT kind of love.

Happy Valentine's Day! 


Bruce Runnels said...

I still have that card, and the parting words to our little one that I wrote in the margins. Remind me and I'll share those with you if I haven't already.
me :o)

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