Our Plan versus God's Plan
11/15/2012
This week I've been coming to peace with God's plans. I'm not there yet, but I'm taking some baby steps in that direction.
I had my plans. Get married in my 20s. Have a handful of children. Be a stay-at-home mom. Live a wonderful life with my family. Of course, all roses and happiness.
Now I'm 35. Some of my plans worked out as planned. Others, not so much.
What do I do with the dissonance? What do you do with it in your life?
This week, I came across the story shared here.
I can relate in some ways to that author. We make plans. We have hopes and dreams. We can work towards them, but sometimes there are things totally out of our control. None of us plan for suffering, death, disease or stress. Yet these find their way into our reality.
As one who has struggled for nearly a decade now with infertility, I always chuckle inside when I hear the word "birth control." At some levels, people can "control" conception but in other ways, it is totally in God's hands. People who don't want to conceive sometimes do and people who do want to conceive don't always. How much are we really in control? Especially in areas of life and death, we have to admit that ultimately we don't have as much control as we think we do.
So, there is a disconnect between what we hope for, what we dream, what we plan for, and reality. It means that dreams sometimes die. It means that plans fall through. We need a Plan B and sometimes a Plan C. We somehow have to be ok with life not turning out as we'd like.
I know God is working in my heart, to bring a super-natural peace. There's a small glimmer there and I thank God for it. I can trust Him even when I don't understand, even when I don't really like His plan as much as I would've liked my own plans. I can trust that some day I may understand His ways and see good come out from the twists and turns of His plans for my life. For now, I'm just working on acceptance and peace.
Your prayers are still very much appreciated, friends!
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